


Pink Matter

by ratdad666



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: 2doc - Freeform, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, M/M, Slow Burn, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-13 03:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21487825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratdad666/pseuds/ratdad666
Summary: Murdoc credits himself and only himself to writing Plastic Beach, yet after all 2D had been through for the album, he wonders why Murdoc is only able to speak his truth through songs.orWhile being held on plastic beach, Murdocs true feelings about 2D surfaces while recording songs for 'Plastic Beach'
Relationships: Murdoc Niccals & Stuart "2D" Pot, Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	1. Intro / Plastic Beach

The loud banging was enough to startle 2D from his sleep, which rarely ever came by easily for him anymore.

“You know you’re lucky you even have a lock on this door. Or even a door” He could hear Murdoc on the other side of the door, slurred words indicating he had enjoyed his night thus far, unlike 2D who glanced over at the alarm clock with his heart still skipping a few beats from the abrupt awakening.

4.15 Am. Only an hour after he had managed to get to sleep.

“We’ve got work to do. We’ve all got work to do. My entire career is in jeopardy, and you’re sleeping?” Murdoc spoke, banging on the door again as he assumed from the lack of response 2D was sound asleep. With a chorus of ‘wake ups’ bring chanted on the other side of the door by a tipsy Murdoc, he knew it would never end until he gave in. He swiftly got up off his bed and shuffled over to the door, unlocking it and although opening it slowly Murdoc almost tumbles into him, grabbing the door frame to catch himself.

“Jesus Fuck, you trying to kill me?” Murdoc huffed out, steadying himself “Now that you’re finally up, we got shit to do.” He spoke, tugging on 2D’s wrist and out into the hallway leading him into the recording studio where he was already forced to spend most of his time.

2D never asked much about things, what he was going to be singing nor did he want to. He didn’t care too much for the album and he didn’t care too much for Murdoc at this point. He had always been very naïve about the bassist, always trusted him even though he was the major reason for everything bad in his life. But he was also the reason he was in the band he loved, and he had always felt a connection with Murdoc that was never to be acknowledged by the other. So, he usually just shut his mouth.

2D snapped out of his thoughts as a book flew at his head, making him jump a little.

“Learn the lyrics. That’s what you’re gonna be putting down, my friend” Murdoc spoke, always triumphant about any song he wrote that he was proud of.

The word ‘friend’ made wheels turn in 2D’s head, staring blankly at the book for a few short moments. Friend? Close friend? More like Captor, maybe Abuser.

“I’ve already got everything done. Track. Backing. Drums. Duet. Lyrics. Track” Murdoc repeated, reaching over to a half empty bottle and taking a long swig “Now all I need is your sweet sweet voice, and we’re all done here”

2D was happy he didn’t have to sit here while Murdoc went through the frustrations of putting it together or listening out for things he didn’t like like he had done a couple times, which hadn’t been very fun for him.

2D read through the lyrics as Murdoc kept rambling on about the song, unsure how the tune was supposed to go but as it came down to his verse it started to seem a little… sad.

The same mixed feelings of confusion started balling up in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know how to feel, or how he was supposed to interpret things. He decided to blame it on his habit of reading too far into things, and thinking too hard about things he shouldn’t.

“And you wrote this?” 2D asked, raising his head to look at the other

“Of course I fucking did. Have you not been listening to me?” Murdoc scoffed

“What is it about?” He questioned

“Why does it matter? It’s obviously just about like, just about what it’s about” Murdoc spoke, his confidence appearing to falter as he stumbled over his words

2D sat still, the nerves in his stomach rising as he had never really seen Murdoc act in such a way since they had been here together.

“Fucking give me that” Murdoc snapped suddenly, reaching over to snatch the book out of 2Ds hand which caused him to flinch.

“Doesn’t mean anything. Its just a song about being drunk.” He added, and it was obvious he was getting defensive.

There was a moment of pause, almost an eclipsing moment of 2D seeing some type of emotion washing over the bassist. But as quick as it had come and before he could figure out what that emotion was, it was gone, and Murdoc was muttering some obscenities and pressing a few buttons and before long a pleasing melody started coming through the speakers of the studio.

He almost didn’t believe the happy tune was the same song to the few lines of lyrics he had read.

“Just listen. I’ll give you the tune” Murdoc spoke over the first verse that was playing, and after a few moments Murdoc’s gruff voice was singing the first lines he had read.

_I'll wait to be forgiven_

_Maybe I never will_

_My star has left me_

_To take the bitter pill_

_That shattered feeling_

_Well, the cause of it's a lesson learned_

_"Just don't know if I could roll into the sea again_

_Just don't know if I could do it all again," she said—it's true”_

2D wasn’t sure if it was quite in tune, but was lying if he said that hearing the bassist sing a song that was almost, most definitely, in 2Ds head about them. Unless it was him being naïve and simply wishing that it was, or it really was and Murdoc had written a song about how he felt about everything. If it wasn’t already too much for 2D to take in, Murdoc didn’t seem to have an intention to stop as he sang along with the fourth verse.

_Waiting in my room, and I lock the door_

_I watch the coloured animals across the floor_

_And I'm looking from a distance_

_And I'm listening to the whispers_

_And oh, it ain't the same, when you're falling out of feeling and you're_

_Falling in and caught again_

_Cau-au-au-aught again_

Murdoc hadn’t lifted his head from looking at the lyrics in the book, although he was the one who wrote the song and presumably knew all the lyrics by heart.

_I'm caught again in the mystery_

_You're by my side, but are you still with me?_

_The answer's somewhere deep in it, I'm sorry but you're feeling it_

_But I just have to tell you that I love you so much these days_

_Have to tell you that I love you so much these days, it's true_

Before Murdoc could finish the song, 2D stood up abruptly, albeit dizzy from the thoughts and feelings that were almost overwhelming him.

“I’m not singing this song” 2D spoke, the songs melody still playing through the speakers as Murdoc looked at him in surprise.

“Excuse me?” Murdoc spoke, turning off the tune

“I’m not singing this song. I don’t want to sing this song” 2D repeated quickly, fearful but overwhelmed about his feelings he genuinely didn’t think he would be able to sing it. Before Murdoc could say anything else he was dashing off out of the studio and back into his room. His heart was racing as he closed the door and locked it quickly afraid he was going to be caught up to by the bassist he had grown to be afraid of.

What kind of joke did he think he was playing? A song about a shitty relationship? Regretting things and being in love with them? What did Murdoc even know about relationships, he couldn’t stand more than one night with someone let alone be in a relationship, a shitty one at that.

Despite his jitters, 2D was soon pacing around in his small room. Surprised that Murdoc hadn’t come after him and also not surprised one bit.

The song he was being forced to sing was some shitty pathetic love declaration disguised as a duet and conversation. It was shitty and he hated it, but it made his heart race and palms sweaty thinking about Murdoc feeling something, let alone feel something for maybe.. him?

He ran his hands through his hair, tufts of soft blue hair caught between his fingers.

How dare Murdoc treat him this way, and then throw something like that in his face. How dare he think that 2D was going to sing that poor excuse for an apology after everything they’ve been through?

2D went over and rummaged through the few items he had with him, some of them being the pain killers and other various assortments he never seemed to go without. He had a lot of pain that needed to be killed right now, grabbing an almost empty bottle of beer he had by his bed to wash down the handful of pills before just collapsing over his bed. With all his experience with his drugs and painkillers, he knew it wouldn’t be enough to kill him, just knock him out for a little while before he had an anxiety attack over something as stupid as a song the bassist may or may not have written about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware that Murdoc has never said that To Binge was about 2D, but I felt as though it could be interpreted that way and decided to write a lil somethin somethin about it. This is gonna be set c2010, based around the 2010 album Plastic Beach, not everything is gonna be cannon especially the way the songs are interpreted but I hope you enjoy!


	2. On Melancholy Hill

2D was awoke again by Murdoc, but this time by being shaken violently.

“Stu… Stuart… Stu” Murdoc spoke

2D let out an unhappy grunt of sorts, groggy and momentarily confused about where he was and what was happening

“Stu... fucking hell” Murdoc breathed out

2D blinked his eyes open now, slowly and surely the sight of Murdoc perched on the edge of his bed with a look of concern. It look a little for him to register the sight of Murdoc so close to him without a threatening look in his eyes or his hands around his throat, though the thought made him more alert about what was going on as he sat up a little. Glancing behind the bassist, his door was obviously broken and hanging off one of the hinges, back to Murdoc who had a sheepish look on his face.

“I... You scared me, ok?” Murdoc suddenly spoke, jumping up off the bed abruptly which made 2D flinch once again. He didn’t quite understand what he did to upset Murdoc this time around let alone scare him when he had been passed out for the last… however long.

“You need to quit it with your pain killer shit, you know that?” Murdoc kicked the already spilt pill bottle 2D kept his medication in. “You were out for like twelve hours I thought you’d died or something”

Rubbing his head it registered to 2D a little more what Murdoc had probably been thinking.

“If I wanted to kill myself to get away from you I would have done it by now.” 2D mumbled and lay himself back down on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

“Yeah well… I can’t have the singer of my band fucking dying on me, can I?” Murdoc huffed, and with no response from the singer he left the room in the same abrupt Murdoc fashion, this time not bothering to close the broken door behind him.

2D turned on his side as he lay in bed, looking at the wall now. He knew he could be a bit forgetful, maybe described as a bit of a ditz but he wasn’t all that stupid when it came to Murdoc, the criminal he had known since he was nineteen.

\--

A couple days went by without a word from Murdoc, which 2D thought spoke volumes. Maybe Murdoc was just as shaken up as he was.

Nevertheless with a broken door that wouldn’t close, he saw a long dark shadow projecting itself into his room, then a mess of black hair peeking from behind his door frame every now and then – often late at night when he knew Murdoc was drinking himself away. He didn’t hear anything coming from the studio either.

2D took the opportunity to think about escaping the shithole he had been forced to occupy. But whenever he thought to do something about it, his legs wouldn’t seem to work. They didn’t want to seem to work. He almost hated himself for it.

He didn’t know what time it was when he rolled out of the bed and somewhat stumbled into the kitchen area, not used to the free will he had suddenly acquired to walk about the place. He entered the kitchen which was cleaner than what he had expected- still in a bit of a state- but maybe it was because Murdoc never really cooked, let alone ate.

2D opened the fridge, crouching down to look into it not surprised to see nothing but beer and… a Backstreet Boys CD. He shook his head and closed the fridge, understanding now why Murdoc would throw slices of bread or random various edible objects at his head to eat instead of something sustainable.

“If you’re looking for the pizza, im afraid you’re a couple hours too late” Murdoc hiccupped from behind him, causing him to jump.

Murdoc let out a laugh at that before stumbling over the couple empty boxes of beer placed a bit too close to the entrance before muttering and kicking at them aside.

“Can’t see a fucking thing in here. Do you have bloody night vision or something?” Murdoc flicked on the light, a bottle of beer in his hand

2D just blinked at Murdoc, standing comfortably drunk a few feet away wearing nothing but briefs and his inverted cross necklace he never took off. It was a pretty usual sight for 2D.

“I’m hungry” 2D knead his fingers together

“Well what do you want me to do about it?” Murdoc grunted “Have a beer”

2D stood there, shaking his head slightly. He was scared, nervous and confused. He didn’t trust Murdoc after how he had been treated, but he was confused about the change in dynamics after 2D had semi-confronted him about the song.

“You have to wait. It’s not like its fucking easy to get food all the way out here you know. You think I’m some waiter? Like you can order room service maybe?” Murdoc finished off his beer and tossed it onto the tiled floor, causing a loud clatter which brought 2D back to the present.

“You think I can just go out shopping? Hit up the grocery store and make you a three course meal, maybe?” Murdoc was rambling on now, heading over towards 2D which made him cower before he was simply pushed aside as Murdoc opened the fridge to grab another beer.

“No – I just.. haven’t eaten..” 2D shuffled away from the other, smelling alcohol on him

“Who said you can leave your room anyway? You think because the doors broken you get a free pass?” Murdoc shoved 2D’s shoulder in the direction of the door “Go on now”

With that 2D couldn’t help the wave of sadness wash over him, the feeling that maybe nothing had changed. He obliged and left the kitchen and went back to his room, crawling back onto his unmade bed to look at his wall again. Let time pass until he was needed again.

That didn’t take too long either. Maybe a couple hours and Murdoc was standing at his door.

“Get up. Studio time.” Murdoc was already turning off and heading towards the studio.

2D lay there for a little while before figuring his best bet was to listen to him no matter how much he didn’t want to sing that song. Or any song Murdoc had forced him to.

He trudged into the studio, shoulders low and head down as he heard a different tune playing through the speakers, a tune that made him lift his head. He stopped at the sight in front of him, Murdocs now clothed back to him as he faced the panel board and in the chair 2D usually took, sat a box of pizza. The corners of his mouth twitched up into a smile.

He stride over with the thought of pizza filling his head, lifting heavy the box up which indicated Murdoc hadn’t just left an empty box out in spite of him. 2D flopped into the chair, the box sitting in his lap now as he glanced over at Murdoc who seemed preoccupied already. Or drunk, he wasn’t sure.

“Can I…” 2D was already set to open the box, Murdoc just glancing over and shrugging.

“I don’t care” He responded

2D opened it, hand grabbing for a slice and stuffing it into his face gracelessly as he realised how hungry he really was. He hadn’t had pizza, or any kind of good food in a long time. It took him a little to realise the pizza was also warm which at the thought of Murdoc, after his rant, going to get him some pizza brought the small smile back to his face.

“You alright there?” Murdoc interrupted his thoughts

2D blinked his eyes open, looking over at the bassist with a mouth full of pizza before just nodding a little. As stupid as it was, his spirits were lifted.

“Alright. Well when you’re finished stuffing your face you need to learn these lyrics and put the vocals down.” Murdoc was often pretty serious when it came to making music, tossing the same book over towards 2D.

The tune that was playing was sweet, he could only describe it as dreamy and he could only wonder what the finished song would sound like.

One hand holding a slice of pizza the other went to pick up the book and read over the lyrics.

_Up on melancholy hill_  
_There's a plastic tree_  
_Are you here with me_  
_Just looking out on the day_  
_Of another dream_

_Well you can't get what you want_  
_But you can get me_  
_So let's set out to sea_  
_'Cause you are my medicine_  
_When you're close to me_  
_When you're close to me_

2D was smiling again, it often didn’t take much to put him in a good mood, it was just in his nature.

“Wow, Mudz… these are some sweet lyrics” 2D spoke, taking another bite of his slice  
Something in the nickname made Murdoc shift in his seat, running a hand through his hair. Maybe it was that 2D hadn’t said it in a very, very long time.

“I know, we’ve been over it. I’m a genius.” Murdoc grunted and waved his hand about “I made a demo so you get the tune.” He glanced over at 2D who had almost devoured the pizza

“Alright, settle down Dents, I don’t want you vomiting in the recording booth” He said and took the rest of the pizza off him, setting it aside.

He turned and started playing the song again, this time they were introduced to Murdocs not-too-terrific singing the lyrics 2D was reading along to.

It was another wistful song with a happy tune and somewhat sad lyrics, 2D thought of all the possibilities of what it could be about. It was a really pleasing song, nice and serene. It made 2D think of what plastic beach would be and what it could mean for them if it wasn’t for the fact Murdoc had basically held him captive here. Maybe it’s what Murdoc wished for them too.

The song had soon ended and 2D was staring at Murdoc

“You look like a bloody idiot when you sit there and stare. I can’t even tell what you’re looking at. Get in there.” Murdoc spoke and gestured towards the recording booth.

2D promptly stood up, full of pizza and newfound enthusiasm – maybe hope, he went into the recording booth with the book in his hands reading over the lyrics and humming them to himself. Murdoc started playing the tune, watching 2D through the glass.

After a couple takes, repeating a couple versus Murdoc was finally pleased with the outcome and 2D was let out of the recording booth of which he didn’t even notice Murdoc had locked behind him.

The singer wandered over to the window in the studio as Murdoc was distracted at the panel, something which he had hardly ever done his time being there. He was amazed to see the sun shining outside, the water glistening as it gently rocked the floating island.

“Want to venture outside?” Murdocs gruff voice cut through his thoughts

“I thought you said there was… big creatures out there still. Like, manatees” 2D paused “And whales”

“Yeah well, they left. They’ve gone to take a nap. To get food. You know how they are” Murdoc dismissed 2Ds worries with a wave of his hand “But only for today. They’ll be back. Patrolling and what not”

2D perked up at that, rocking back on his heels with a small smile on his face. The idea of being outside was just what he needed right now. Even if it wasn’t a real beach it was close enough in this circumstance.

Murdoc was soon leading him out of the studio and over to the somewhat run down elevator, where upon the doors sliding open stood Noodles – or ‘Cyborg’ Noodles 2D thought of her which almost scared the daylights out of him.

The sight of the robot, standing idly in the corner with its eyes closed was enough to trigger something in 2D, remembering the gas, blacking out, travelling to plastic beach and the first time he had seen the Cyborg, and what it was capable of.

“Well come on, we don’t have all day.” Murdoc was already in the elevator

“Whats she doing in there?” 2D asked, pointing over to the idle figure

“Resting. She’s just there to make sure nobody escap-no intruders get in. For protection and what not” Murdoc said, pulling 2D into the elevator now by the wrist making him stand next to the Cyborg as he pushed a button on the elevator panel.

It was unnerving to say the least and 2D seemed to shrink closer to Murdocs side as he watched the motionless figure beside him cautiously. It was like one of those freakishly realistic dolls he was sure was going to jump at him at any minute. Soon though Murdoc was nudging him as the doors slid open and they tried to slip out of the small elevator at the exact same time, getting caught in the doors considering their combined width wasn’t as wide as the doors which almost sent 2D into a panic.

2D let out a small yelp, Murdoc just grunting as he pushed past 2D to get free.

“Would you watch where you’re going! It’s not a bloody race” Murdoc turned to see 2D being held by the back of his shirt by the now awake Cyborg Noodle.

“She’s got me! She’s got me! Help me Mudz, I’m gonna die!” 2D cried out, arms flailing out in front of him

“Oh right” Murdoc chuckled, going over to where Noodles was standing still, iron grip on 2Ds shirt before he went and did something 2D couldn’t quite see.

He was soon released, stumbling forward and tripping over his own feet. Murdoc approached and pulled him back up off the ground with ease.

“Great system, aint she? Nobodys coming in or outta here without my permission that’s for sure” Murdoc chimed, helping 2D brush himself off before making his way out the front doors.

2D glanced behind him at the elevator which was closing now, though Noodles eyes were open and staring directly at him. Spooked, he scattered back over to Murdoc following him outside the doors, somewhere he hadn’t been in almost a year now.

The air was nice, fresh and the sun was warm. 2D stood outside the doors with his eyes closed and his hands on his hips, taking a large inhale before blinking his eyes open and looking around. He noticed Murdoc watching him.

“It’s very nice out here.” 2D said, walking over the pink matter of the island towards the ocean.

“Woah, woah. Theres no lifeguards out here. Just know if you jump in and drown in im not going after you.” Murdoc said, caution in his voice

2D simply crouched down by the edge and looked down into the water, swishing his fingers around in it.  
“Come here, look at the fishes!” 2D chimed, glancing back at Murdoc and gesturing him to come over and soon enough they were both crouching down to peer into the water which was when 2D sat down and started taking off his shoes, rolling his jeans up.

“What a nice little Island! What a shame we’re not on vacation” 2D spoke, putting his feet in the water and nudging Murdoc to silently encourage him to do the same.

“Yeah, we’re not” Murdoc instead sat cross legged on the edge “Albums not finished yet. When the albums finished, everything will be great. Fame, glory, money! Think of all that money” Murdoc sighed wistfully

“Yea, everything will be okay.” 2D spoke up.

After everything, he knew a part of him was there to forgive Murdoc for everything. Maybe that part of him was the same part that just wanted Murdoc to want him, a feeling that had been sitting there for years. He knew Murdoc was capable of being nice, and loving. Maybe if things with the album turned out good, things will be different for them.

“We can go back somewhere, with Russel and Noodle. Be a proper band again. Maybe even cyber noodle can come if she’s nice enough” 2D was thinking out loud

2D rested his hand down beside him, close to where Murdocs hand was also resting. Noticing this, 2D glanced at the other boy who was looking out at the ocean. 2D ever so slightly moved his fingers over top of the bassists, without a reaction he moved it until his hand was almost completely on top of Murdocs. Even without acknowledgement from Murdoc (it seemed like Murdoc was purposely ignoring it) it made him a little giddy at the thought he was almost-sort-of holding hands with him.

“You see that?” Murdoc spoke up, pointing over to a large mound a small way out, the same shade of pink they were currently sitting on.

2D nodded.

“That’s Melancholy hill” Murdoc spoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its a bit slow burning but i always love anticipation in fics, so. Enjooooooooy


End file.
